Monthly Archives: September 2011

MEAT LOAF IS THE BEST

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I love food and I love eating and I love people eating my food.  MEATLOAF is hamburger.  Hamburger is BEEF.  It is Red Meat which is healthy for you.  I am NOT talking about  FAST FOOD RESTAURANTS  this is not good for you. That is just fast and someone else doing the cooking.   Plus you can use ground pork or ground chicken Very healthy and easy to do.  My mouth is watering and I want to eat this screen up right now. Yum  yum.  Okay you will need.  WASH YOUR HANDS   now in a large Bowl with one and one half pounds of  BEEF   mix . . .

1. one onion               Chop and diced

2. one celery stick     Chop and dice

3. Green pepper      [less than half]     Chop and dice   sure you can add a little orange and yellow pepper if you want.

4. Garlic garlic garlic   Good for your body good for vampires, CHOP two cloves up or use ONE teaspoon of garlic  powder.

5. Salt and pepper to taste .

Okay now . . .Mix this all together in the bowl  then try to make a nice ball,  patting it all together turning it into a log!  A nice fat log.  Put this log into a bread pan  and cover.    In the oven at 375 degrees .  If you do not have a bread pan don’t get all crazy, you can use a cake pan, just change the shape of the log into a small  mud pie.  no big deal  and let it cook for 60 minutes.

Wait you are not finished  

After the 60 minutes you need to take your meat out of the oven take some of the juices out of the pan and ADD one whole can of  TOMATO  soup on top of your log or mud pie.  What ever you made and put it back into the oven for thirty minutes uncovered.

This is great with potatoes and beets and pickles and cheese or green beans and carrots and side-salad.

The next day on toast or bread or a little Welch rabbit.   I have to go eat now . . .Have a great day.

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Urine

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Why do guys urinate all over the place when we have bathrooms.

Well for one reason,  once a guy is outside working and doing his thing, he does not want to stop what he is doing and walk all the to the house just to release himself of liquids, then walk all the way back to what they were doing.

For a second reason

THE MAN

Who the hell is going to tell me where to piss

told to me by a man.  He said,  the neighbour’s dog comes and shits on my lawn so what is the difference if I take a piss besides my garage. Who the hell cares if I take a piss or not, it’s my back yard.

If I have to take a dump I’ll go in he house. And even then it’s not the end of the world.

he asked me why i even cared. I said something about the smell and he laughed.

Sometimes when you are out on a job and you need to empty yourself,  it is much easier and more safe to do this outside rather than have someone say you stole out of their house. But if I have to, I will go to a gas station or drive home for the other thing.

After thinking about this I feel men are somewhat smart in this matter. As I would not pee outside working a job.

The pee garden

It's not easy to grow drinking urine

I guess it all makes perfect sence to take a pee outside rather than get dragged through the courts on a false theft charge.

happy peeing guys. Good job on the roof.

STUFFING FOR YOUR TURKEY mm mm good

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Thanksgiving is coming and so are the birds. I love turkey,  it is very good for you and it helps you sleep. This is a very healthy source of vitamin B-12.  I like to stuff my bird just like my dad, maybe you will too.  So wash your hands, wash your bird and here we go.

Lay 8 to 10 slices of bread out to dry.  If you want,  you can dry the bread the night before that way you know it will be dry.

1.   Peel and wash eight medium potatoes, cut them up and cook.  When they are cooked and cool enough to touch . . .ADD

2.   One medium chopped onion. . .ADD salt and pepper to taste.

3.   Ground SAGE . . .1/4 cup of the stuff this is your flavor.  Now mix all this all together  with your crumbled dry bread and taste, you will know if you want more salt&pepper or a little more sage.  If you are pleased with the taste, fill your uncooked washed TURKEY, by placing the stuffing into the bottom end of the bird and the neck.

If you are brave enough,  sew each end as best as you can,  as the stuffing will swell and come out.  If you have left over stuffing you can put it between the wings.  If any stuffing falls into your water, don’t worry, it will only add more flavor to your gravy. . . What? what do you mean, what am I taking about. . . When you cook your bird it will be in a roasting pot with water-onion-salt-pepper. RIGHT, right.

Cover your turkey and put it in the oven at 350 degrees, every hour check the turkey and base with the liquid the bird is sitting in.  In three and a half to four hours,  oh my my. . .mm mm good.

You serve this with  potatoes, carrots, cranberries, turnip, pickles and cheese   Fit for a king.   I can hardly wait for thanksgiving,

Look at that bird

So lets see you stuff me now

yum.

 

 

If you could take any class for free, what would you choose?

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Any class for free? . . .I would have to say   THE PUBLISHING BUSINESS  then I would be able to get my movies out there. Oh wait . . .Movies don’t get published they get produced. So I would take a class in  DIRECTING. Oh wait . . .with my luck I’d end up directing traffic.  So I would take a free class in  THE ENTERTAINMENT BUSSINESS. But then who would I entertain?  Why cyber space of course.

A free class you say, then driving. I would take a free class of driving lessons.

the empty space

Is it okay if I park here

DAD’s BEEF STEW HOT ON THE STOVE

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YUMMY . . .Got to love stew everything in it is healthy and delicious. Nothing artificial nothing too hard to do.  So wash your hands and let’s go.  Oh wait a minute . . .Do we have everything?  water, onion, turnip, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, 1/ lbs. beef cubes, salt and pepper and a large pot.

If you have everything we well start, if you don’t then we will stop and wait until you do.  Well what are you waiting for, hop to it. This will feed about seven or eight people.                                  WASH ALL YOUR VEGGIES  RINSE YOUR MEAT

1.   Fill your pot with  little more than half water and turn on the stove

2   Re-chop some or all  beef cubes into bite size and put in the water

3.   Dice your BIG onion or chop it, who cares, by the time the stew is cooked the onion will be  invisible,  put it in the pot to boil with the meat.

4.   Your Turnip. You do not need it all,  half will do. Chop it into cubes and get it in the water.  Let this boil for twenty minutes.  THEN

5.   Carrots,  clean five  or  six carrots chop into bite size add to water

6.   Potatoes, peel and clean seven or eight potatoes chop into bite size pieces add to the pot.  ADD your salt and pepper to taste.

Let all this boil for twenty more minutes then WASH AND SLICE HALF A CABBAGE adding it LAST,  let all this cook until the turnip is soft then eat with bread and butter if you wish.

Should your company still be hungry cook them up some Blueberry bangbellies.

 

BLUEBERRY BANGBELLIES . . .

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If you happen to love eating cake, warm cake, hot cake even and blueberries then you have come to the right place.  This recipe is older than the hills in my family, plus if the blueberries is not what you want in your hot, warm, cold cake, then any other cook-able fruit is available.  Good thing is, it does not take long to make.  It is necessary that you cook this in a medium-sized pot with a good heavy lid.  YOU NEED THE STEAM KEPT IN THE POT> cooks the dough.

FIRST YOU BOIL ON THE STOVE TWO CUPS OF BLUEBERRIES  nice cleaned ones.   [ or any other fruit]  with one half cup of sugar or less, depending on how sweet you want it. You can put more if you want   but yuck . . .WHILE this is getting ready to boil . . .Do this.

For the cake-ish part all you need is:

1.   two cups of flour mixed with

2.  four tea-spoons of baking powder mixed with

3.  one half tea-spoon of salt . . .MIX IT ALL TOGETHER IN THE SAME LARGE BOWL

Then . . .cut  in  with two knives,  one-quarter cup of shortening.  This means quickly slice the  block of shortening sitting in the MIXTURE of the dry ingrediance until the size of peas, then add one cup of milk and mix with a fork until the dough is smooth, then take  tablespoons  of the mixture and drop them into the now boiling pot of berries [fruit] COVER with the tight lid and  . . .

Cook on stove for 15  minutes, turn stove off letting the pot sit for ten minutes still covered then EAT.

Don’t forget . . .YOU NEED THE STEAM TO STAY IN YOUR POT WHILE IT COOKS.

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

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one large cooking pot holding eight to ten cups of water. Start boiling the water adding.

1. one chopped onion
2. two choppedd carrots
3. two chopped celery sticks
4. 3/4 cup of chopped chicken
Let it boil for twenty minutes and then add two large table spoons of chicken broth and one table spoon of parcely and your noodles.
Let that boil for twenty more minutes turning the heat down to a simmer for a while then eat . . .YUM
P.S. . . .It doesn’t have to be a hard boil.

Do You Feel People Talk To Much

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Some people do talk to much,  I do, but it all depends on how you talk that gets me nuts. There are people who tell me I talk to much but those people are not complaining about what chat about, they complain how I keep changing the topics.  My response to that is, who want to talk about the same thing for hours, when so much could be said about a lot of things. Look at all the stuff you just learned, where on he other hand.

Take this other person for instance who wants to tell you they saw a robbery,  and you are in a hurry, it will go something like this.   [Oh my god you should have see what I seen today.]  “yeah, okay, I have to go to the bathroom.”  And they start talking.  [I woke-up and made toast, I was hungry this morning, anyways I put on my gray pants and there are to small, I just bought those, anyways I thought I would go for a walk to the store and buy milk cause I had none for my coffee so I dumped it out.  "Listen I really have to pee, give me a minute."  [ Yeah okay . . .Oh on the way to the store a kite  got stuck in the Hydro wires that is so dangerous, oh yeah I saw your friend they waved so I waved back.   "That's nice, but can't you wait until I go to the bathroom." [No,  you're not going to believe it, this is crazy.  "Then why don't you tell me just what is so crazy that I won't believe so I can go empty myself."  [I am telling you and you keep interrupting me.  [Where was I,  oh yeah,  I was going to the store to buy milk because there is none, and Whatshisname said hi,  and when I got to the store I couldn't get in because I saw this man running out  holding stuff]  “was it your  milk? . . .”

Who cares anymore.   I can’t believe I’m still standing there listening to all that when i could be relieving this pressure screaming at me in a different language.  Now they are up-set at me yelling that I don’t care the store was just robbed and they could have been hurt?”

I feel like the kite in the wires now.

Iola

What’s your favorite month? Why?

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Well mine is good’ol HALLOWEEN . . .Nothing like dressing up just the way I like  and no one can ask why.  The best thing about it is the fact that there is three days to change my costume and paint my face and leave my hair a mess. I love October only for those days, fun days where I get to  frighten kids and people, having a great laugh. Oddly enough I get stopped and asked if I am okay and need help. And this is funny,  just last year I was walking past a school when some man in a truck caught a glimpse of me, parked, went into the school getting the principal and some teachers to come out, telling them that there is an old deranged lady wandering the streets and needed help.  No just me. Happy Halloween.