Category Archives: Shopping for gifts
GET IT NICE AND MUSHY AND WE WILL EAT IT
Yeah, what life tosses at us on a whole is sometimes rough on us. Things like a house burns down, your boat sunk fifty-feet from shore and you are terrified of sharks or your best friend jumped off a bridge, your car breaks down in the middle of no-where and you suck at directions or you have a dentist appointment.
English: RIVAS, Nicaragua (June 24, 2011) Capt. Wendy Boruszewski, a dentist from San Diego, ensures a patient’s dentures fit properly at the Humberto Mendez Rivas medical site during a Continuing Promise 2011 community service event. Continuing Promise is a five-month humanitarian assistance mission to the Caribbean, Central and South America. (U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Courtney Richardson/Released) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Lets talk about dentists for a moment.
They are not well liked by many people and they are associated with PAIN.
They talk to you asking question you can’t answer because the dentist has their hands in your mouth. They laugh and make-up their own answer for you, mostly getting the answer wrong making you speak seal-talk.
They have needles! That go in your mouth!
They twist and they pull and you can’t feel a thing.
IN YOUR MOUTH
A maxillary denture. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This is a place where we put our food that we need to eat to stay alive and healthy, but not when all your teeth got pulled. At once. Can’t eat for days, especially if you have no dentures and there will be no dentures in your near future. You are eating jars of baby food for the first several weeks or close to it. You are starving somewhat of malnutrition.
The time arrived for gatherings of families and friends, children all screaming out joys of their Christmas toys. The
English: A group of children at Christmas dinner. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
air-filled with the smell of turkey and stuffing, with the supper smells tickling your palate. You Love our gifts but you are not satisfied your starved. It has been three weeks and the best you can do is suck on straws.
PROTEST
Time to find a chair, take a seat at the dinning room table. The lay-out of food is a wonder to the eye. So much food all at one meal. people and children start to dig in, pass me this and pass me that and hand-in-hand criss cross all around. You had enough. You protest! What is wrong with you now they all wonder, why don’t you eat! I protest that too, you tell them. You all know i just had all my teeth pulled i can’t even chew on shit, but you get it nice and mushy and we will eat it.
Shark Teeth (Photo credit: compujeramey)
BLENDERS
For when you feel mushy, they come in handy, and no house should be without one.
A blender will get food nice and mushy.
Mouli-Baby, a small food mill (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
REFRIGERATORS AND THE NEEDY
So i did my best to give away a christmas gift which was and is a refrigerator to a needy family. I thought this would be a nice thing to do . . .It turned into a headache. How was i going to find a family in need of a fridge. Awe the phone book.
So i called the FIRE DEPARTMENT. I figured they would know of a family in need. But they did not. But they did direct me to calling habitants for humanity, these people do this sort of thing. No they don’t . . .They will take it and sell it and donate the money to help have homes build in another country. Okay nice, but there has to be a family in need that lives in the same country that i do.
This Habitat directed me to calling CHURCHES. YES ! why did i not think of that? DUH! So i called ten [10] CHURCHES.
THIS BLEW MY MIND THAT A CHURCH DID NOT KNOW OF A FAMILY OR MOST OF THE CHURCHES DID NOT ANSWER THEIR PHONE
I was running out of ideas . . .AWE THE RADIO STATION. Cool they announced over the air ways tell the people of my offering. Free Christmas Refrigerator for a needy family. Thank-you.
Then someone mentioned calling the SCHOOLS. YES! Why did i not think of that! Schools always know who needs what with family’s. But no luck as of yet.
But then the phone rang . . .Someone hearing about my Christmas gift called and needs this refrigerator. YIPPIE! Such a hard thing to do! [Find a family in need]. How is this possible we do not know of the needy?
THE IRONY OF BACK IN FIVE
Back in five . . .What is this back in five . . .Five seconds? Five minutes? Five hours? Five days! what exactly does this mean.
SIGNS
Picture this . . .I went down to the corner store for some batteries for my mouse. I bought this new wireless mouse for my computer, thinkingit would be grand to not have a wire on a mouse, that i had to knock out-of-the-way, or it would get caught on something, pulling out of my hand or what ever the problems of having a mouse connected to a wire.
A Logitech G7 Wireless Cordless Mouse. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
What ever the cause, i thought it would be nice to have a wireless mouse. But i misplaced the battery that came with it, or tossed it out . . .either way it could not be found.
The day was nice so i thought i would walk down to the store. But when i arrived there was a sign hanging in the window reading . . .BACK IN FIVE. The first thought that came to me was, how long ago was the sign put up. I figured it had to be minutes, at least. But i ended up standing waiting for 45 minutes and nobody came back. So i walked back home with no mouse and a full bladder, of course this was my fault, as it was i who drank three coffees before i left the house. The battery would have to wait.
When i returned back home, i noticed the red light flashing on the phone messages . . .Cool. The time on the message was 11:36 am. The time on the clock read 11:38am . . .The message was left by a friend who stated they would call back in five. [ 11:41 ]. SWEET! I have not seen my friend in quite a while. An hour later the phone still did not ring. What the hay . . .I went back to the store. I needed batteries. The store was still closed. I began to wonder if i missed the clerk or if the clerk can’t tell time. If anything i was getting excercise, the walk was long enough, plus it was downhill, so up and down twice, i hoped at least i would lose five pounds. There was no new message left on the phone, so i figured my friend had the same problem as the store clerk.
Telephone (Photo credit: plenty.r.)
So there i was, unable to use my computer because i wanted to try a wireless mouse, and waiting for my friend to re-phone. FORGET THAT . . .I made my own little sign . . .Went to buy batteries be back in five. I laughed as i taped it to my front door . . .The drive to the city was at least a forty-five minutes, then i would shop, eat and drive back. MAYBE!
Right now i am busy, so . . .I WILL GET BACK TO YOU IN FIVE
ACTING AS A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND DUTY RULES CAN BE FOUND HERE
So you went out and choose to have a GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND relationship.
There are rules to be followed when you want to enter into any relationship. [This can only stand to reason]. As now you are a couple, a pair, a unit. You have somebody else to consider rather than yourself. {Or be back by yourself} with yourself.
When you take on a relationship of boyfriend/girlfriend you are taking that individual’s, life style.
For that matter . . .What is your purpose with this person? You must be able to at least stand the way they are, to be able to live with them to share and or build a life together.
SO UPON READING THIS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GIVING UP TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND
You have Rules to follow by taking on a roll of boyfriend/girlfriend. These rules should be presented at the point in time where an individual invites one or the other to in fact be a /boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place. Then the rules MUST BE UNDERSTOOD
DUTIES
Except one another as is. Be ready to give and give and give. Be able to take and take and take. Honor one another by respect. . .Do the dishes and cleaning and picking up, paint the fence and keep the yard tidy, chop the wood and take out the garbage. The whole house hold chores and shopping belong to you both with equaled proportion.
Should these things not comply by one another this means they are not ment to be together. Which means do not start a relationship with each other . . .Know when to say no thank-you, i like it how we are now, i don’t want to be boyfriend/girlfriend. You live here i live there.
OF COURSE THESE DUTIES ARE ONLY TO BE USED BY LIVE-IN BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND individuals.
Picture this . . .He/she /does it all getting tryed of this other person wondering why they gor together in the first place. Or they or one of them start hitting and throwing things, but they stay or are a fraid to leave . . .
YOU SHOULD HAVE READ THE RULES ON BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND
SOMETIMES WE NEED THIEVES
Sometimes we need thieves? Yes, and according to the BIBLE, God used them too.
They taught me this in SUNDAY SCHOOL
PICTURE THIS “MY READERS”
Picture this . . .I blog and so i have readers, twenty-nine of them . . .One day i wake up due to all the outside, commotion . . .And it is all twenty-nine reader’s with cameras and papers they want autographed.
What do you think i do . . .I run for cover, is what i do . . .Who are these people who just show up unannounced? THE MOB? I wonder what i could have done and look for an escape. I’m shy to bein with . . .Sooo, you know how it is . . .I’m climbing out the back window and hoping not to land in the water dish ans stuff and some of the people showed up in the back of the house too. cameras flashing and yelling as to my whereabouts and . . .man? I should have at least took time to dress or comb my hair or anything, rather than house-coat and fuzzy slippers. Purple fuzzy bear slippers.
My readers . . .I didn’t know i had readers and why if they are mine why are they not working for me. People are getting of lightly here.
I think it is safe to go out now.
WITHOUT FORCE OR PROSECUTION-HOW TO GET A HUNDRED FOLLOWERS IN A DAY
BY HAVING . . .
ONE HELL OF A TITLE.
GO ASK YOUR MOTHER
How funny is that statement . . .GO ask your mother. Don’t all fathers say that. Most of them . . .Yes they do. Go ask your mother.
Thing is, it always has something to do with the tender side of things, like sex.
Silly fathers . . .Mothers just slap us in the head and tell us to ask of the fathers.
WHAT IS LOVE
You, you are Love. Maybe in yourself . . .But in deed Love is what you are.
THAT does not mean people have to be in Love with you. or Love you for that matter.
Do you Love you? That is all that counts.
